I interviewed a friend this morning who was an FBI agent during the 9/11 terrorist attacks. She agreed to talk about her experience and requested anonymity. I will call her Ann.
*
Tracy: The death of Osama bin Laden is a significant event and I wanted to talk to you because you were involved with the clean-up after 9/11. The media is reporting "a sense of closure." Are you feeling a sense of closure?
Ann: When I watched the news last night, I didn't feel a sense of closure at all. I felt numb. I thought that maybe it was because I was tired and I would feel differently today, but I don't feel any different. I still have no sense of closure. I hear that people are dancing in the streets, but I don't feel like dancing.
Tracy: Why do you think that is?
Ann: I am grateful that a very evil man is no longer alive, but I can't help but feel it is still not over. He has loyal supporters who are still very much alive. But, it's more than that.
Tracy: What is it?
Ann: I worked the night shift at the Pentagon. We worked twelve hour days, seven days a week recovering body remains and important government and military documents. Beside the Pentagon building was a large platform. We would bring the debris out of the hole and lay it on the platform to sift through it. The hole was lit up with enormous light fixtures that turned the night sky into day, enabling us to work around the clock. Families of the deceased and missing would come by at all hours of the day and night and they were allowed up on the platform. The Red Cross and Salvation Army had tents set up with food and water for the agents and workers. One night, during my shift, I had an overwhelming sense of fatigue and hunger and, you know, just burn-out, and I was on my way to the tent. Golf carts shuttled us back and forth. Sitting in the golf cart, I had a clear view of the platform. On the platform, with the bright lights behind them, stood a little boy and little girl - I would guess they were ages four and two. The boy was dressed in a suit and the little girl in her best dress. Their mother was taking a picture of them. This was a moment of clarity for me and I forgot all about being hungry and tired and remembered why I was doing this. It was so obvious that these children had lost their father in the Pentagon attack. They stood there, solemn, out of respect for their father who had suddenly been taken from them. This photograph would define their lives. (Long Pause) And the injustice of what this man had done..(her voice breaks)...this psychopath who ordered this horrific attack on the United States... I'm sorry...(heavy-hearted sigh).
Tracy: That's okay. Take your time. (I dab my eyes.)
Ann: That little boy and little girl are burned into my memory and when I recall what happened on 9/11, this is the picture I see. It was an honor for me to recover the victims' remains and treat them with the respect and care they deserved. (Pause) I don't feel like celebrating or dancing. Today, there is a twelve-year-old girl and fourteen-year-old boy who have been raised without a father. Every person who lost a loved one that day will have their own closure. When the time is right for them. Bin Laden's death closes a chapter, but it does not bring a total sense of closure. His followers...what are they going to do?
Tracy: That was my first thought as well. I'm sorry I've brought up painful memories, but I truly appreciate you sharing this with me. You have provided a personal perspective for the tragedy ten years ago and to what happened yesterday.
Ann: No, that's fine...it's okay. I'm glad to do it. This memory is the human side of FBI work. We're trained to close off emotion and to distance ourselves from the case and this memory is what I carry with me as an emotional, feeling person.
Tracy: Thank you so much.
Ann: Of course.
Tracy: Is there anything else you would like to say?
Ann: The fact that he was killed while hiding out in a mansion disturbs me. He was too...comfortable. He used a woman as a human body shield to protect himself. I hope his followers will see what a coward he was. He died a coward. That's about it.
*
New York City, the World Trade Center, the Twin Towers, the North Tower, the South Tower, Ground Zero. These are all landmarks we have heard mentioned time and again when referring to the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001. Some of us may forget that one hundred twenty-five civilians and military personnel lost their lives while working in the Pentagon that day. If anything, the death of Osama bin Laden should humble us, remind us to pray once again for the thousands who lost family members, friends, and co-workers and to also say a prayer of thanks to the thousands of dedicated behind-the-scene workers who cleaned up the carnage wrought by an evil man. There may never be closure for them. I thank my good friend for her words today and for her work ten years ago.
